"Manners Timothy"

One of the great benefits of our job is that our social life comes to us. We get to talk to people from many different backgrounds, with different views and ideas. We love just sitting outside with a group of customers, chewing the fat. The vast majority of people are well mannered, polite and very pleasant but occasionally just occasionally we get a customer that frustrates by their lack of manners, demands or attitude.

For example

Customer decides that they will remove chairs from the dining room and take them outside as the 50 outside are all full.  Doesn't bother to ask if it's ok.  What next,  "it's sunny I think we'll take the pool table outside"

The only extra chairs allowed outside are the high chairs, if they are no good I am afraid you will just have to get here earlier

Customer who asked for a drink in the normal way, " a biere sil vous plait" and was told by her friend that there is no need to say please to a barman.  Correct madam and there is no need for us to serve you. 

Customers that think we are Google.

People ask us questions all of the time, weather forecast, local houses for sale, what's what in the village etc etc and we are happy to oblige, but there a limit even to my knowledge 

Who won the election in Calais?

What's the weather in Italy? I am thinking of going there sometime

Do moles have sex during the day or at night?

Why don't you think I have seen my neighbour recently?

Can I book a room at Paris Hilton?

and the classic " can you recommend somewhere to eat?"

If we have time and if the customer actually wants an answer to the question they ask, we have a computer available but .............

And if you do ask a question, have the decency to listen to the answer!  You asked a question, a question demands an answer. If you wanted to talk at us rather than with us then just talk, that way we don't need to listen as we are not involved in a conversation. Also don't tell us something different one day than you did yesterday.......

A further annoyance is the " fill it up " " my glass isn't full"  or words to that effect.

The measure and the glass size are not necessarily  the same because if they were the liquid would spill when you carry the glass. We are of course willing to fill glasses to the top and charge accordingly......for a cognac that means €20 and for a Jack Daniels €50.

One last thing before you think that all of our customers are ill mannered louts (which they are not!!!)

There are often two ways of saying something and most  people learn through life that one way often has better results than the other

for example

"please may I have" works better than "I want"

"I love you" works better than "let's go shag"

and

"I have this letter and it's all in French"   doesn't work as well as " J, when you have a minute could you have a look at this letter for me and explain it please Thanks very much"

I will finish with two points:

1. I don't think anyone reading this will recognise themselves but if you do, you just may be right
2. We think we have solved all issues with our newest drink..

They should have read the blog.....

About midnight the other evening as a group of us sat outside , a car passed the bar, (which is unusual in itself!!) and returned a few minutes later and stopped to ask for directions to a chambre d'hote ( guest house).
I had not heard of the name they were requesting so asked for the A4 sheet they were using for directions along with their sat nav.
As readers of previous blogs will guess they had directed themselves to the wrong Champniers. The 3 ladies and 2 children found themselves at midnight in the Vienne and not in Charente, some 80 kms away.
Surprisingly they found it quite amusing, more so I guess than the guest house owner when they finally turned up

It's a small world

I am constantly amazed as to the links that we find with other people
Considering the relatively small number of Brits in the area  it is incredible how closely some of them have in the past.
A few examples.

• A couple who had never been the bar before walked in, and the lady recognised another diner. It seems that one worked in a small village store in Cornwall 20 odd years ago and the other used to be a customer.
• Two people whose houses almost backed onto each other as youngsters recognised by an unusual surname.
• Robert, who like me visited Stamford Bridge ( or should it be pilgimaged to) and used the same cafe in the Kings Road for a pre match meal.
• A local couple and a holiday house owner who lived in the same road in Wales but never met there.

But then last week a couple came in, new to the bar. We got chatting, how long have you been in France? Where are you from in the UK?   Herne Bay was the answer. I said that I also came from Herne Bay and when we talked further we had once lived 10 doors apart. However their son, owns the very house that I lived in with my parents as a teenager.  

What next an old girlfriend turning up or someone arriving in one of my old cars?