"Manners Timothy"

One of the great benefits of our job is that our social life comes to us. We get to talk to people from many different backgrounds, with different views and ideas. We love just sitting outside with a group of customers, chewing the fat. The vast majority of people are well mannered, polite and very pleasant but occasionally just occasionally we get a customer that frustrates by their lack of manners, demands or attitude.

For example

Customer decides that they will remove chairs from the dining room and take them outside as the 50 outside are all full.  Doesn't bother to ask if it's ok.  What next,  "it's sunny I think we'll take the pool table outside"

The only extra chairs allowed outside are the high chairs, if they are no good I am afraid you will just have to get here earlier

Customer who asked for a drink in the normal way, " a biere sil vous plait" and was told by her friend that there is no need to say please to a barman.  Correct madam and there is no need for us to serve you. 

Customers that think we are Google.

People ask us questions all of the time, weather forecast, local houses for sale, what's what in the village etc etc and we are happy to oblige, but there a limit even to my knowledge 

Who won the election in Calais?

What's the weather in Italy? I am thinking of going there sometime

Do moles have sex during the day or at night?

Why don't you think I have seen my neighbour recently?

Can I book a room at Paris Hilton?

and the classic " can you recommend somewhere to eat?"

If we have time and if the customer actually wants an answer to the question they ask, we have a computer available but .............

And if you do ask a question, have the decency to listen to the answer!  You asked a question, a question demands an answer. If you wanted to talk at us rather than with us then just talk, that way we don't need to listen as we are not involved in a conversation. Also don't tell us something different one day than you did yesterday.......

A further annoyance is the " fill it up " " my glass isn't full"  or words to that effect.

The measure and the glass size are not necessarily  the same because if they were the liquid would spill when you carry the glass. We are of course willing to fill glasses to the top and charge accordingly......for a cognac that means €20 and for a Jack Daniels €50.

One last thing before you think that all of our customers are ill mannered louts (which they are not!!!)

There are often two ways of saying something and most  people learn through life that one way often has better results than the other

for example

"please may I have" works better than "I want"

"I love you" works better than "let's go shag"

and

"I have this letter and it's all in French"   doesn't work as well as " J, when you have a minute could you have a look at this letter for me and explain it please Thanks very much"

I will finish with two points:

1. I don't think anyone reading this will recognise themselves but if you do, you just may be right
2. We think we have solved all issues with our newest drink..